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Post by Stevieandbear on Sept 10, 2003 15:11:03 GMT -5
Ever since the day I was confronted with biopsy results, I have been going through emotional issues. When my doctor explained cerival cancer, I had to decide what to do. After already going through a cone biopsy, I wasn't in a hurry to have more of them, possibly for the rest of my life. But as I have had only one child who died at birth, there was a part of me that was always hoping that someday I would have enough money to get the expensive procedure I needed to have a chance at getting pregnant again. When I married my husband two years ago, he was a single father of three boys, and I love them all as my own children, but I still had hopes for a child of my own. I knew my husband had a vasectomy, but as two of the children aren't biologically his, I knew he he had the love for a child even if not his biologically. We had discussed it, and were waiting for the time to come that we could afford it. Then I got the news from my doc, and that changed everything. I thought after we had discussed it, and made the best decision we could for everyone that I was okay with it, but since the surgery, I am so sad. I cry at the drop of the hat, and can't seem to stop thinking of what I had to give up. My dream. With my ovaries intact, I shouldn't be experiencing hormaonal changes, but I just can't seem to get past the fact that I will never have a child of my own to hold in my arms. Adoption isn't an option, as we can't afford it with three other children to consider, and a rocky financial situation to boot. I long for a little girl. Am I just blue, or am I experiencing hormaonal changes?
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Post by Francina on Sept 10, 2003 17:38:30 GMT -5
(((((Stevie))))) Catherine aka Lifelongblade found a site that helped her immensely with not having children of her own.
It is possible that your ovaries did not kick back in, which does happen from time to time, mine went to sleep after the surgery and for the first couple of months I had menopausal symptoms. I know that some women go through the same 'mourning' emotional rollercoaster post op - please look under links for the website for childless not by choice site.
Catherine - can you offer any other suggestions for Stevie?
Keeping you in my prayers. I know the emotional pain you describe. I have one 20 yr old but lost a child 13 yrs ago - I always dreamed of having 4-6 children - but I had also known since I was 18 that a hysterectomy was in my future - so Ihad a great deal more time to accept it. You might want to talk to your doctor about taking a supplement - herbal or a mild anti-depressant - keep us posted. (((((hugs)))))
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Post by jana on Sept 10, 2003 18:00:15 GMT -5
I have one child, but I have really had a hard time dealing with never having another child. I cry sometimes and it hurts so bad. I am trying to get hormones since I don't take any. I hope that you are able to make peace with this situation and somehow find the strength to live again. I hope that I do to. Jana
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